You Can Win in Life: How to find true friends
Having good friends is an important foundation for our life. In times of darkness, we all need someone we can trust and can talk to. When we face self-doubt, we need our friends to remind us of who we are. We also need good friends who are willing to ask difficult questions when we are in denial, trying to avoid pain. But how do we find true friends?
As a culture, when we meet someone, we tend to engage in superficial small talks. It is non-threatening and as such prevents confrontation. But if we don’t get past the conversation about the weather or the traffic, we will never get through to real connections.
To get into a real conversation, it requires us to have the courage to put ourselves out there. We need to be willing to be vulnerable and share something personal and important about ourselves. It also requires us to have the courage to ask the other person the deeper questions: questions about values, about dreams, about their past and their future. To find a good friend, we need to know if the person shares the same values as us. Values are things of principal, things that are important, like moral values or integrity.
We also need to be willing to surround ourselves with people who see things differently than us. This is not the same as having different values. You can share the same values but have different opinions about other things. If we are not willing to make friends with people who we disagree with, we may overlook and never recognize different aspects of life.
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